Recently, a good friend of mine, Emily Fox, was kind enough to be a guest on my podcast to talk about her creative journey. During our two and a half-hour discussion, we touched upon the topic of creating with intent. “What does it mean to create with intention? What does it mean to live with intention? How does having intention better our craft and livelihood?”
I brought the topic up on the podcast because in the last couple of months — okay, a year with having to live in this pandemic — I have been having minor realizations about how having intent behind actions puts more of an emphasis on what it means to be creating (or living) in the first place. Thinking about the intention behind an action forces us to take a step back and look at the bigger picture as a whole.
It sucks being isolated when you’re used to being surrounded by family and friends on the weekends. There are certainly others out there who have it far worse than I do regarding this pandemic, so this isn’t meant to throw pity my way. It’s just having this much alone time in my apartment, with my pet lizard, that really kind of forced me to look at things more in-depth than if I were to habitually wake up and continue my day on auto-pilot.
Being a “creative” (I use this term in a broad sense), I am constantly trying to look for things to listen to, to read, to watch, to write; my main objective from sunrise to sundown is to look for some sort of inspiration day in and day out — or it was so to speak. I now recognize that looking for inspiration quite literally bit me in the ass. There’s nothing wrong with looking for a glimpse of hope in the bleakest parts of our journeys — hell, 2020 has been nothing BUT that. However, when you set your one goal for the day to look for inspiration, you’re cutting yourself off short by not allowing yourself to experience the euphoric relief of being inspired.
I’ve spoken about this before on my social media, but over the last couple of years, I hit a massive writer’s block and didn’t feel any drive to keep creating something. All of this comes after finishing my short film, “Night of Adventure“. At first, I blamed this lack of a creative drive on being burned out, and to this day I’m sure that’s what started the downward spiral. However, reflecting more on when it first hit, I can see that other events contributed to it as a whole. For example: graduating college with my bachelor’s and not knowing what life would be like, finishing up a feature script that I had hoped would interest some people (it didn’t), and having to get a full-time job to be financially responsible and to officially “adult”. All of these events layered on top of each other (plus more personal ones that are not mentioned) felt like I was being suffocated under the weight of my own insecurities, burdens, and doubt.
In my latest vlog, I talk about how I wrote three shitty first drafts for different projects. I didn’t start and finish them in the year 2020. I started half of them in 2018 and some in 2019 — they were more as background noise as I was working on my short and figuring life out. So, my main goal in 2020 was to finish three of them so I could plan on revising and working on them for potential shoots because just between you and me, there is a craving in my soul to have my next project — filming and all — to be a feature film. That’s exciting! Right? Well, not so fast.
You see, I felt — and still do feel — very accomplished having finished said drafts. Upon revisiting them for revisions, more than half of all the scripts feel forced. I get it. It’s not called a shitty first draft for nothing. It made me reflect on more though because when I am re-reading parts and taking down notes that fellow friends, who are also screenwriters, have given me, I instinctively think: “What is the purpose of this scene? What are the characters trying to convey? What is my intention with having said information relayed here? Is there an intention in the first place? What is the underlying intention of this project? What am I trying to say, feel, react to?”
I would like to consider this a natural process for all writers and creatives alike, but alas, I can only really speak for myself, as every person processes things differently. I can, at the very least, say some of it might be overanalyzing the bigger picture. If you personally know me, then you already know I generally overthink as a whole — hell, this whole piece might just be an example of just that. I realized that although the scripts came easier to me in the end, my intention was never to write out of a passion for writing. I intended to write to meet a goal and have it be just that. Nothing more; nothing less. It doesn’t mean I failed by forcing myself to write vomit drafts, and that’s something I have to remind myself of and that it’s just part of the process of creating. I still wrote something, and that’s better than writing nothing.
What I’m trying to say is taking a step back on projects, and intentionally thinking about the underlying intentions of creative decisions, has given me a better outlook of where I am in my creative journey, and what my potential can, and will eventually be, down the road. And I have found that the same approach can easily be applied to our daily lives. This isn’t to say, “Oh, you must think about every single thing you do from when you wake up to when you fall asleep.” It’s far from that. It’s just an approach of questioning what our intent is behind our motivation for the day. As I also said in another vlog, 2020 was a nice pause for us to really reflect on who we are, where we are, and why we are where we are at on our journey. Looking back on that, and seeing patterns, can enable us to unlock our true potential — whatever that may be. If anything, it’s just a little meditative mantra to keep us grounded.
“Where do you want to be? Why are you not at a place where you want to be? And what baby steps can you take to get closer to being where you want to be?”
Working on ourselves and our projects, in any way, even if it’s a little, is better than nothing. It’s not a matter of when will I get there? It’s a matter of I am where I need to be, how can I make this better? If you are a creator who feels stuck, then create with intent. If you want to find love, then love with intent. And if you just want to live life to the fullest extent, then do so with the intention of just that. Eventually, you’ll get in a place of just being and everything will come as second-nature.
Far too often we meander and get blindsided with other priorities. There is nothing wrong with that. They are priorities for a reason and being human, we are forced to take unforeseen events at face value and deal with them as we continue to co-exist with other like-minded individuals. But reminding ourselves daily of what our true intentions are with work, with romance, with family, and with life, I think we’ll start to really unlock clarity and purpose more than if we allowed intentions to be background noise as we often do.
2020 was about reflecting on the past behavior of the human species and recognizing patterns within ourselves; 2021, and going forward, is about redefining ourselves, and our livelihood, through actions with meaning and with intent. So, I guess something good did come from the shitty first drafts I wrote. Now it’s about redefining the new perspective and allowing my intent to re-spark the passion I lost by not having my intentions in line with what I know. What do they always say? Write what you know.
How do you intend to live, to create, to experience, and to just be going forward?